She Spoke

I am on a plane headed home after the She Speaks Conference. Technology is amazing! I can't believe I am flying across the country typing out my blog post. Talk about a way to make time fly! Don't be alarmed by the date of the post because most likely I won't be able to actually post this until tomorrow (Monday).

The weekend had highs and lows as well as both laughter and tears. I'm not sure what my expectations were except that I wanted to learn, absorb everything from these amazing women, meet new people and most importantly I wanted to hear from God. I had heard this was a life changing event and I was ready to experience something life changing.

The first night was discouraging. My last session of the night was taught by a literary agent who vividly described the harsh realities of the publishing world. Although he sprinkled in some hope here and there, his message was bleak. I appreciate his honesty, but it was discouraging. After the discouraging words of the literary agent, I turned my hope to meeting and connecting with my roommate. I had imagined us connecting through the gazillion things we had in common and of course becoming forever friends. When I went to my room that first night I had not yet met my roommate. I had scanned the conference looking for name tags carrying her name but had not found her. When I reached my room she was ready for bed. We said our introductory hellos and both turned in for the night. I was discouraged to say the least. There would be no all night bonding session talking through all the things we had in common. I knelt beside the bed as tears streamed down my face and silently cried out to the Lord. Why am I here? I had felt so led to attend this conference, had I misinterpreted? I wondered if I had made a huge mistake.

Saturday morning was brighter. My roommate and I chatted as we readied ourselves for the day. Although we didn't have a lot in common, we shared good conversation. We had a wonderful breakfast together and I felt the heaviness of discouragement melt away. Encouragement shined on the day. I learned more than I ever imagined possible. The writing sessions were all rich with information, advice and most of all, hope.

Unfortunately I struggled with a headache both Friday and Saturday. The employees in the gift shop had to wonder why I kept purchasing more medicine! I tried Sudafed, DayQuill and finally Excedrin Sinus Headache took the pain away! On Saturday night, the amazing day of absorbing everything I could, was capped off by one of the most powerful messages I think I have ever heard. Renee Swope gave the message entitled "Beyond the Shadow of Doubt". Her words spoke straight to my heart. I struggle with doubt and that is exactly what Friday had been about....doubt! God did lead me here, God does have a plan and I am humbled to be a part of it. God can do the impossible if I'll just surrender to His will! The evening concluded with an invitation to come bear our struggles at the cross. As I stood there during the invitation time, my eyes wandered across the room. I saw women hugging and loving on each other; crying together and praying together. I longed to reach out to someone, but that is just not my personality. I stood there wondering why I can't connect. It seems that some women are so comfortable with strangers. They can instantly bond and share an intimate connection so quickly. I can not. God didn't make me that way. I stood there hoping someone would come up to me, but they didn't. I had met a lot of special women including many of the great bloggers I read on a daily basis, but this evening concluded with just me and my Lord...connecting with Him. The weekend was a roller coaster of emotion.

Sunday morning was awesome. The message again spoke directly to my heart, and the service ended with us sharing communion together. God's presence was undeniable and my heart was once again flooded with emotion. One of my favorite things was the promises we each picked up at the cross. The Proverbs 31 team had put specific scriptural promises on cards and laid them at the foot of wooden crosses. I picked mine up on Sunday morning and believe that this specific verse was given to me by God. I left the conference encouraged, strengthened and excited about the future.

Thank you to all the wonderful women at Proverbs 31 Ministries. She Speaks is an amazing thing!