Friday, April 3, 2009

Snug As Bug

Last week my daughter Hannah got a new bed. This bed is much better than her old bed. It is bigger, softer and it no longer has the oh-so-cute-must-be-for-a-three-year-old picket fence headboard, which by the way was hand made by her grandpa. Her new bed has helped her entire room make the leap from child to almost teenager. The absolute best part of the new bed is that Hannah is actually sleeping in it. . . at least most of the time!

Hannah has been sleeping with me since she was just shy of 2 years old. It started with my unexpected, totally unplanned divorce. My life had been turned upside down and I needed her with me. Having my baby near me through the night provided a needed comfort that is hard to describe. I can look back on that tumultuous time now and see that had it not been for her I probably would have just let the world crumble in on me. But I had a toddler to take care of and that responsibility got me up in the morning.

Somewhere along the journey of the past nine years, our sleeping arrangements turned from me needing her to her needing me. I can't tell you how many times I have been startled to full alertness in the middle of the night due to an elbow hitting me in the head or a knee lodged perfectly into my side or a flailing hand landing smack in the middle of my face. I have a queen size bed, but somehow the two of us only used half of the half of course.

Oh how I have longed for her new bed. I have dreamed of the day she would sleep in her own room and I could sprawl across the boundary of my half into the unknown territory waiting for me on the other half of the queen-sized bed. I told myself she would eventually get tired of sleeping with old mom and want her own space, but I'm not so sure that would have ever happened.

The time has finally come. She has her new bed and much to my surprise I have found myself struggling a little to let her go. The first two nights I stood outside her door while she was sleeping and just gazed at her sweetness, which is much more evident when she is sleeping! For those first two nights I found that I slept perfectly aligned on my half of the bed, not even daring a toe to cross the imaginary dividing line.

But, now, after a few nights of her sleeping in her own bed, I have started to embrace this new chapter in our lives. After she is tucked into her bed snug as a bug, I crawl into my own bed and pray that God will keep her safe through the night. And then I stretch out across the big bed without a worry of a knee, elbow or runaway hand smacking me in the face. Ah, this must be what heaven will be like!

1 comment:

Nancy said...

This absolutely touched my heart. Great story. Great writing. Little girl grows up. Thanks for sharing.