Lessons Learned

We make decisions everyday all day long. Some decisions are good and some decisions are not so good. Making a not so good decision and living with the results can be a hard lesson for a child to learn. As Hannah gets older there is more freedom to make some decisions on her own.

At the beginning of the school year the 5th grade students had the opportunity to join the band or orchestra. She was so excited to start learning an instrument and picked out the flute as her instrument of choice. I was apprehensive. I remember being in the 5th grade and choosing to the play the Clarinet. I didn't make it through the whole year. I didn't like it and I hated practicing. I knew in my heart that Hannah would be the same way. It would be a fight to get her to practice the required 20 minutes a day. Plus she already had made a commitment to multiple dance teams for the year. Yes, in my heart I knew the flute was not going to make it through the year.

Just as I expected, practicing was a chore. I had to badger her into practicing and because of our busy schedules I ended up letting it go more often than not. She did seem to enjoy playing and actually seemed fairly good at it, but she was not determined enough to keep practicing.

As the winter break began, Hannah told me she wanted to quit band. My first reaction was no, but she went on to explain her rationale. Hannah has great skills at manipulation, I mean making her point. She told me that she wanted to quit because she needs to focus more on her raising her math grade. Plus she went on to say that she already has so many dance classes and her school work needs to come first. Well I couldn't argue with that reasoning. She was right. Her math grade is too low, but she hadn't been practicing her flute anyway so I wasn't sure how it would really free up more time for math. But, nonetheless she has too many activities and needs a more balanced plate of things. So I agreed.

I emailed the principal and the band teacher as soon as school resumed. The band teacher was disappointed and had even named Hannah as the January band student of the month. But he understood that her grades need to come first.

Last week Hannah announces that she changed her mind. She wants back in band. The true reason for wanting to quit had finally surfaced. She had misplaced her band music book and was embarrassed to let the teacher know. I had already spoken to the principal about her lost book and was in the midst of getting her a new book when she announced she wanted to quit. But I guess she was afraid the new book might not be right or that she was still too embarrassed over having lost the book in the first place. Anyway, she cleaned her room last weekend and lo and behold she found the lost music book. Now she wants to return to band and wants me to fix it for her. No. Her original rationale was right. Her math grade needs to be addressed. She was just too good at manipulating, I mean making her point. She is now stuck with the results of her decision. She is not happy. Last night, through tears, she told me I should have, as her mom, stepped in and not let her make this big of a decision. She said she was just a kid what did she know!! Again, so good at making her point! I will not relent. No band.

If she is still interested in learning to play the flute or another instrument we will look into lessons over the summer. This situation opened the door for the good choices talk! Even the simplest decisions should only be made after much thought and prayer. Oh how I pray she will make good choices as she continues to grow in both age and wisdom.